S o I am 24 years old, and I've never had sex. I also don't Dating a mormon man. I don't do drugs, and I don't drink coffee. And I've lived in New York City for six years as a Mormon, and it is hard to be a Mormon here if you don't drink or if you don't do drugs, but it is especially hard to live in New York City if you don't have sex. Because I'm young and I wanna have relationships, and I wanna play too and, like, date and stuff. But unfortunately, because I don't have sex, the longest relationship I've ever been able to sustain is four weeks… and that was only because for two of them he was out of town.
There's this huge part of me that wants to be considered sexy. But if you're not selling sex, you really shouldn't advertise, and so I don't really ever get to come across as sexy.
But one time I was at this vintage boutique, and I came across this s slip. It was dark navy blue — lacy at the top and then silk — and it was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. I tried it on, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, Oh my gosh! Who knew I could be sexy? And so I bought it. I took it home, and I put it in Dating a mormon man drawer, and no guy has ever seen me in it.
But occasionally, late at night, I'll try it on and look in the mirror and think, I'm sexy! And know that Mormons are notorious for saying no to things, and you would think as a person who says no to a lot of things, I wouldn't be any fun.
But while I say no to some things, I try to say yes to everything else, which makes me a really enjoyable person. I learned the power of saying yes when I was going to NYU. They used to have these career fairs, and I was a drama student, so they wouldn't even set up booths for us.
But for all the business school students, they had tons and tons of booths with the coolest trinkets they would give away. And I discovered that if I said yes to all the questions they asked, I could get presents. They would ask, "Are you a Stern student? And I know that technically that's lying, and Mormons aren't supposed to Dating a mormon man by any means, but I figure I do everything else right so I can do that.
And then another time I was walking by the Javits Center and someone said, "Are you looking for the paper convention? I thought, This is awesome! It all led up to the mother of all conventions. I had some friends in town at the Marriott, and we had breakfast.
I glanced under the table and saw a badge, and it said, "Bob Barnett, 7-Eleven Convention. So I start mingling with people. I'm making friends, taking free samples. And I end up meeting the woman who's running the whole convention. And I was like, "I go to conventions all the time, and this is so well organised.
So that night I got all dressed up, and me and my three friends went on this cruise. It was 1, 7-Eleven employees and us. And we start mingling. We get going in karaoke. And then they serve this four-course meal.
And at the end of dinner my friend turns to me, and he says, "Elna, I dare you to make a toast. Everybody shut up, and I said, "I'd like to make a toast to 7-Eleven for redefining convenience. And the thing that I love so much about saying yes is that where you start at the beginning of the day and where you end up can be two totally different places based on all the things that you say yes to.
But then there's this other side of my life, which is that I do say no to a lot of things. Dating a mormon man with sex, the thing I've learned is it's one thing to say no to having sex with someone you've dated for two weeks.
It's actually pretty easy because for me that would be kinda slutty to just say yes after two weeks. But it's a whole other experience to say no to Dating a mormon man sex with someone when you feel like you're in love.
I met my yes counterpart a year ago, and his name was Nick.